Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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