somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
