my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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