Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
