do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
