Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
