Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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