By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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