you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
