shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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