Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Alive.
So much puke
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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