how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
