At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
