one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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