I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
