Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
