It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
