Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
