trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize