Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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