Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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