Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
