yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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