There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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