So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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