If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
