And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
