I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
