You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Let's get the cat blown out
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
