I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
