I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize