I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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