omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
