THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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