I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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