Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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