My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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