Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
