Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
