she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
