Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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