the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
