you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
should my penis look like a turkey
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
