I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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