So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
