i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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