Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
