do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
