Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
