i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
