As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize