my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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