If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
