well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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