dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
