Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
