Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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