TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
