phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize