Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
