I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
