I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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